


Down To The River

by FyrMaiden



Series: 2013 Klaine Advent [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Christianity, M/M, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 19:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4405325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FyrMaiden/pseuds/FyrMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Faith is an important part of Blaine's life, and he doesn't want to lose it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down To The River

**Author's Note:**

> 'river' fill, take 2.

After he comes out, Blaine’s mom spends a lot of time trying to find a replacement church for them. Blaine says he doesn’t want to go back to their old one. He’s sat through enough sermons about his irredeemable soul, and he doesn’t want to listen anymore. His mom wraps him in her arms and holds him against her and says that’s fine, she understands. Blaine’s not entirely convinced that she does, and a small part of his brain thinks there may be a part of her that is concerned as well. After all, she’s had almost forty years of indoctrination.

However, search she does, and – because his mom is not a woman who has ever given up on anything – they try several congregations before they find a church that Blaine feels comfortable in. The congregation welcomes him, and he feels embraced and warmed by their acceptance for the eight months he is a regular member of their small but inclusive family. Even when he lands in hospital for two miserable weeks, they send him flowers and a card, and he keeps the card in his shoebox of memories because it meant a lot to him.

After that, he goes to Westerville, and has his spiritual needs met by the school chaplain. It’s not perfect, but at least he has something.

*

Blaine is terrified to tell Kurt about his faith, about how much it means to him. Kurt isn’t exactly dismissive, but he makes it abundantly clear that he doesn’t think God has time for him, or for boys like him. Blaine wants to tell him he’s wrong, but he also doesn’t want to seem weird or like some kind of missionary. He says nothing, and attends Church quietly, only when he has mornings free.

It’s Kurt’s friend Mercedes who says he should tell him, after he’s transferred and gets to know Kurt’s friends better. She’s sitting with him at lunch, watching him quietly, and he gets the sense from her that she would understand. It’s a bizarre and stilted conversation, but she says, “He’s just be burned one time too many, boo, he’s not judging you or me but the people who judge him. I think we both know they’re not the kind of Christians we want to be.” Blaine feels the weight lift off of him and he exhales long and steady and laughs at his own ridiculousness.

She tells him about the time Kurt’s dad was in the hospital, and how Kurt had come with her to her church. “We sang Aretha’s Bridge Over Troubled Water for him,” she reminisces. “I don’t know, I mean, I think he appreciated the sentiment, in the end?”

So he does. He says the words. He says, “Kurt Hummel, I am a practicing Christian,” to his bedroom mirror four different ways, and then texts him instead. Kurt picks him up for their Sunday afternoon Lima Bean and a movie date and says, “You didn’t think you could tell me?” Blaine shrugs.

“I don’t know. It seemed like it might be A Thing.”

“I love you, you goose. All of you.”

It helps, and Kurt comes with him to his new church once or twice, talks with Blaine’s minister, a small woman with close cropped hair, glasses, and a deep belly laugh. She touches his arm when he makes her smile, and Kurt dips his head in response, his eyes bright. He doesn’t have to believe, she tells him. God loves him just the same.

*

When he finally moved to New York, Blaine feels adrift for a long time. He needs to settle in, take time to orient himself, and he needs to find some anchors in the water before he drowns, because he’s learned that, whilst Kurt can be an anchor, he can’t be his only one.

He tries three congregations before he finds one he likes. They have a gospel choir that he’d like to be a part of, but isn’t really vocally strong enough for. It feels like family though, and he enjoys his time there, volunteers some of his free time for the Thanksgiving food drive and with the children at Easter, and persuades Kurt to help with the soup kitchen over Christmas when they can’t get back to Ohio to be with family.

Faith has helped anchor Blaine his entire life.

He’s thankful to have found someone to share it with him.


End file.
